"That's the same thing." At least he thinks so. He has somewhere he can go, that he feels comfortable and safe. Everyone deserves that, he thinks. And if they don't have it, he can share his. Especially for another monster.
He tilts his head at the question though, frowning, "I was. I still am. But that doesn't mean we can't be friends. Jordi gets mad at me all the time. And you apologized." He squeezes his fingers individually with his other hand, a sort of stim as he walks through his thoughts.
"John said you didn't like the word I used. But...it's my word. So, if I use it for myself, you're not allowed to get mad, okay? I wanted to explain something, but I can't until you say it's fine."
He puffed out a breath, not realizing that it might of sounded a little like a wolf's 'boof' noise.
He still moved to bring up his legs, and made to hug them, and rested his chin on his knees.
"John is right. The word freaked me out. So...you're telling me that it's okay if you use a word that upsets me, because you use it for you? That's not how it works. You don't like me calling you a weirdo, right? Would it work if I call myself a weirdo?"
Christopher adds it to Germaryah's many 'but like seriously you're a wolf' attributes that is steadily growing.
"Well, if you called me a weirdo like Viveka does I wouldn't mind...she isn't saying it to make me feel bad." He points out, frowning. "And I'm not saying I'm a monster because I hate myself."
"Well, when I hear monster, I don't hear something nice. I hear the people putting me down. When you say it, it sounds like you're putting yourself down."
He sighed. "It sounds like a slur. Like you're trying to make me and yourself feel bad. Does it make sense now?"
Christopher frowns, "I won't call you that any more, but I'm not going to just stop using it for myself. It's what I am."
He can understand what he's saying, but- "If I reclaim that word, if I embrace the parts of me humans find discomforting or needing to be destroyed, that's a good thing, isn't it? I'm taking the power back. I shouldn't have to change what I am, or how I present to make people comfortable."
He puts a hand on the couch cushion between them and leans closer, speaking softly but seriously.
"But... where I come from, it's more than just a name to call someone. And finding other monsters is important. There was a community right under the city I grew up in, living together and not bothering anyone. But they were exterminated, just because of what they are."
They were all gone before he even knew they existed. "If I pretend that isnt who i am, maybe I'm safe, but not everyone can hide. And even if they do, hunters might still find them. So, we are stronger together."
He didn't move, though he winced at the use of the word. Still.
"That's a history, and a shitty one at that." His own voice was soft. "I didn't know, I don't know what I am. I just found out. It might be the thing that killed me."
He swallowed, looking away.
"I'm not from your world though. You understand that? Why it's a lot to take in right now?"
Christopher wants him to feel like he isn't alone, wants him to feel connected, but John told him slow. He pulls back, stays on his side of the couch, frowns down at his lap.
"I'm sorry." He sniffs, glancing over at him and back at his lap.
"I spent my whole life not knowing why I was different. Trying to be normal so hard it hurt...so no, I- I guess I don't. I learned, just about a year ago, and I finally had the answer I'd been looking for to explain everything. O-or some of it." Adam didn't tell him everything, the gaps were still so immense.
"But...even if I don't understand, I still want to be your friend. And even if it bothers you? It doesn't bother me, and maybe that can help?"
Chris was sure that with that many I don't knows the possibility of any kind of positive outcome was more slim with each one. But when Germaryah decides that it is at least worth a try, his whole face lights up.
His smile gets a little brighter at that, "Thanks! Um, because we're friends, was...there anything you wanted me to call you? Or maybe Peggy and I can work shop it?"
Peggy coos softly, half asleep on the couch back. "She's really good at nicknames."
"You said you didn't like it" he was there, he has ears and actually used them when Ger was trying to trade with him.
He looks over at Peggy and she gives another coo, fluttering her wings. "Yeah! She's really good at it. I get all my best ideas when she's around too, so we'll crack this in no time."
"It's rude to just call you 'hey you' though, so is there a place holder until we can figure out what you like?" He thinks about the videos Jordi and Hayden made, that Hayden hadn't picked one yet...
Well, he could help Ger find something.
"She's my best friend! I tell her all my problems." He reaches over and rubs at Peggy's chin, her eyes closing with a soft, pleased cooing. "And she's a great lab assistant."
"John has been calling me 'friend'." He shrugged. "That might work. At least for now."
He'd find his place in time. Maybe.
Though there was an intrusive thought of what would happen if he tried to bite off Peggy's head, he didn't follow it through.
"Right." No eating the pigeon. Still weird though. "So...what kind of scientist are you, exactly?" He was expecting mad scientist, considering well. The iced tea and Peggy.
"Well, as a place holder. We can find something that fits. Do you have any letters your particularly fond of? I like C's, very versatile." That is not a normal thing to say to people, Chris.
He seems content with petting Peggy before he smiles at the question, "I'm not sure, exactly, but Aether has been described to me as chaos and madness, so I'm leaning towards mad... though chaos scientist does sound cooler."
"I'm not calling myself Chris, Christopher. Just putting it out there."
He huffed a little but...he tilted his head in thinking of it. "Maybe Aether isn't that different from just magic, if it lets to see the unseen. Maybe you're an Aether specialist?"
"You don't look like a chris like I do, its okay. I'm more creative than that." At least there is that.
"There is a distinction between magic and science though, even if both can have the same base... but as far as specialist, I don't know, just that I am made of Aether. Other people have it in their veins, I can see it when it wants me to, like-" he pauses a moment, frowning.
"I want to tell you what I see in you, but I dont want you to get mad." A beat, "can I?"
"Let's not make it too dumb though." Because he doesn't want to be a Chris Chris, or a Crispy rice bowl, or Crisis Core or something.
"No, you can't tell me what you see when you look at me when your eyes go all blue like that." His voice went flat. "You might as well have me asking to do something...I dunno. Something real upsetting."
He wasn't sure if mentioning kissing would work, since Chris came back.
"Why would it be dumb? I named Peggy and thats a good name!" Dont ask him what he's called soke of his inventions, Ger. Some of them are penalty box bad.
He does shrink back a little at being told no, biting his lip. This is a clear boundary that he's setting, and he wants to anyways, but... "what if you think about it and tell me when you change your mind instead?"
Put a pin in it, so he can still hold on without the full blow of a rejection.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-21 09:32 pm (UTC)He tilts his head at the question though, frowning, "I was. I still am. But that doesn't mean we can't be friends. Jordi gets mad at me all the time. And you apologized." He squeezes his fingers individually with his other hand, a sort of stim as he walks through his thoughts.
"John said you didn't like the word I used. But...it's my word. So, if I use it for myself, you're not allowed to get mad, okay? I wanted to explain something, but I can't until you say it's fine."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-21 09:41 pm (UTC)He still moved to bring up his legs, and made to hug them, and rested his chin on his knees.
"John is right. The word freaked me out. So...you're telling me that it's okay if you use a word that upsets me, because you use it for you? That's not how it works. You don't like me calling you a weirdo, right? Would it work if I call myself a weirdo?"
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-21 10:09 pm (UTC)"Well, if you called me a weirdo like Viveka does I wouldn't mind...she isn't saying it to make me feel bad." He points out, frowning. "And I'm not saying I'm a monster because I hate myself."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-21 10:29 pm (UTC)"Well, when I hear monster, I don't hear something nice. I hear the people putting me down. When you say it, it sounds like you're putting yourself down."
He sighed. "It sounds like a slur. Like you're trying to make me and yourself feel bad. Does it make sense now?"
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-21 10:57 pm (UTC)He can understand what he's saying, but- "If I reclaim that word, if I embrace the parts of me humans find discomforting or needing to be destroyed, that's a good thing, isn't it? I'm taking the power back. I shouldn't have to change what I am, or how I present to make people comfortable."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 01:32 am (UTC)He shrugs, and closes his eyes, chin on his knees.
"I just know people think I'm a freak, and have used that. Maybe they'll do the same to you. Or have."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 01:43 am (UTC)He puts a hand on the couch cushion between them and leans closer, speaking softly but seriously.
"But... where I come from, it's more than just a name to call someone. And finding other monsters is important. There was a community right under the city I grew up in, living together and not bothering anyone. But they were exterminated, just because of what they are."
They were all gone before he even knew they existed. "If I pretend that isnt who i am, maybe I'm safe, but not everyone can hide. And even if they do, hunters might still find them. So, we are stronger together."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 01:50 am (UTC)"That's a history, and a shitty one at that." His own voice was soft. "I didn't know, I don't know what I am. I just found out. It might be the thing that killed me."
He swallowed, looking away.
"I'm not from your world though. You understand that? Why it's a lot to take in right now?"
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 02:01 am (UTC)"I'm sorry." He sniffs, glancing over at him and back at his lap.
"I spent my whole life not knowing why I was different. Trying to be normal so hard it hurt...so no, I- I guess I don't. I learned, just about a year ago, and I finally had the answer I'd been looking for to explain everything. O-or some of it." Adam didn't tell him everything, the gaps were still so immense.
"But...even if I don't understand, I still want to be your friend. And even if it bothers you? It doesn't bother me, and maybe that can help?"
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 02:42 am (UTC)"I don't know. I don't know a whole lot. I don't...know if we could be friends."
He bit on his lip. Sucked on it. "But...we can try."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 03:33 am (UTC)"Yeah?"
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 03:36 am (UTC)He offered a soft nod. "But we're taking it slow. And, well, yeah you can touch. Your hands aren't weird."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 04:05 am (UTC)Peggy coos softly, half asleep on the couch back. "She's really good at nicknames."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 04:20 am (UTC)Just to verify.
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 04:23 am (UTC)He looks over at Peggy and she gives another coo, fluttering her wings. "Yeah! She's really good at it. I get all my best ideas when she's around too, so we'll crack this in no time."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 04:44 am (UTC)"Is she like. Your muse then? But uh. Yeah, sure. Workshop it."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 04:49 am (UTC)Well, he could help Ger find something.
"She's my best friend! I tell her all my problems." He reaches over and rubs at Peggy's chin, her eyes closing with a soft, pleased cooing. "And she's a great lab assistant."
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-22 05:02 am (UTC)He'd find his place in time. Maybe.
Though there was an intrusive thought of what would happen if he tried to bite off Peggy's head, he didn't follow it through.
"Right." No eating the pigeon. Still weird though. "So...what kind of scientist are you, exactly?" He was expecting mad scientist, considering well. The iced tea and Peggy.
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-23 12:03 am (UTC)He seems content with petting Peggy before he smiles at the question, "I'm not sure, exactly, but Aether has been described to me as chaos and madness, so I'm leaning towards mad... though chaos scientist does sound cooler."
no subject
Date: 2026-03-23 12:56 am (UTC)Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-23 12:56 am (UTC)He huffed a little but...he tilted his head in thinking of it. "Maybe Aether isn't that different from just magic, if it lets to see the unseen. Maybe you're an Aether specialist?"
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-23 01:02 am (UTC)"There is a distinction between magic and science though, even if both can have the same base... but as far as specialist, I don't know, just that I am made of Aether. Other people have it in their veins, I can see it when it wants me to, like-" he pauses a moment, frowning.
"I want to tell you what I see in you, but I dont want you to get mad." A beat, "can I?"
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-23 01:12 am (UTC)"No, you can't tell me what you see when you look at me when your eyes go all blue like that." His voice went flat. "You might as well have me asking to do something...I dunno. Something real upsetting."
He wasn't sure if mentioning kissing would work, since Chris came back.
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-23 06:31 am (UTC)He does shrink back a little at being told no, biting his lip. This is a clear boundary that he's setting, and he wants to anyways, but... "what if you think about it and tell me when you change your mind instead?"
Put a pin in it, so he can still hold on without the full blow of a rejection.
Re: Common rooms
Date: 2026-03-23 01:46 pm (UTC)He sighed, and glanced at Chris.
"Why are you pushing it? I don't want to know right now."
Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From:Re: Common rooms
From: